My Own Breakup Story, Part 3

[Continued from the previous post]

The breaking point came on my birthday four years ago. By then, I already quit my office job and started working from home as a freelance writer. He called me up the day before my birthday and said that I should cook dinner for him on my birthday. We had not seen each other for three months and he said he missed me.

So, on the morning of my birthday, I went shopping for groceries. I spent most of the day preparing for his visit. After all, I had not seen him for months, so everything should be just perfect. I even chose to prepare his favorite dishes.

I was in the middle of cooking dinner when he called up again. In that phone call, he said he was sorry but he would not be able to make it, after all. He had a rush job that needed done and his boss asked him to work overtime.

Never before had I cried in frustration on my birthday. No one had ever made me cry on my birthday before. Still, I went on with my cooking and celebrated my birthday alone.


Another month passed by after my birthday. I did not see him even once. At some point, I stopped answering his text messages. I tried to forget my loneliness by playing online multiplayer games and visiting forums. I also buried myself in work.

I also met someone through these online games, but that is a story for another day. This new guy made me realize that there was no use hanging on to a lover who was more of a shadow than an actual presence in my life. After thinking it over for some time, I wrote him an email saying goodbye.

I never looked back. The funny thing was that an hour after sending that breakup email, I received a reply from him saying that he would marry me within the week if I would just take what I said in the email back. Still, I did not believe that it was worth making up with him. So I never looked back.

(Image: www.cyarena.com)

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My Own Breakup Story, Part 2

[Continued from the previous post]

He would be home for a week or two before flying again. Even then, he would refuse to see me while he was at home because he was either too tired or too busy from work to give me the quality time that I wanted. I thought it was okay because I believed then that as long as we are both sure that we loved each other, not seeing each other frequently is not really a big deal.

But then, it started to be not okay. There was a time when I did not see him for three months. I got very lonely and depressed. The wedding date that we previously set got pushed back further and further. And still, I waited.


It became clear to me that he loved his work more than he loved me. Of course, he would justify this by saying that he was only preparing for our future together. He told me he wanted to provide me a comfortable life so he had to work hard for it. At first, this reason was enough for me. I could live on it despite my loneliness.

After a time, even that reason stopped being enough. More than a comfortable life, I wanted someone to be there when I needed him, someone to talk to and share my thoughts with. Most of all, I wanted someone who would respect me and my time, instead of making me adjust my schedule and my life goals just to meet his own.

The breaking point came on my birthday four years ago. By then, I already quit my office job and started working from home as a freelance writer. He called me up the day before my birthday and said that I should cook dinner for him on my birthday. We had not seen each other for three months and he said he missed me.

[To be continued.]

(Image: www.cyarena.com)

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My Own Breakup Story, Part 1

Seven years ago, I got engaged to a guy I met at work. He was not handsome, but I'm not really the type to go for looks in a guy, anyhow. I fell for him because he made me feel special in many different ways – mostly by spending quality time with me and talking with me whenever he could. He also encouraged me to do well with my work.

A few months after we got engaged, it became necessary for me to change jobs. Professionalism, not to mention company policy, dictated that I should not work in the same place as my future husband. So I got a new job and hoped that nothing would change between my fiancé and me because of lack of proximity.


Unfortunately, all the things I hoped would not happen actually happened. During my first few months at the new job, we would talk on the phone at lunchtime and then saw each other after work or on weekends. As the months passed, the lunchtime phone calls became nonexistent and the dates after work became limited to once a week, usually on Sundays so we could attend church together.

It did not help that his work required him to travel to far-flung corners of the country. When he was on a business trip, there would be stretches when I would not hear from him for weeks. I would be lucky to receive a single text message from him around once every week to tell me how he was doing.

He would be home for a week or two before flying again. Even then, he would refuse to see me while he was at home because he was either too tired or too busy from work to give me the quality time that I wanted. I thought it was okay because I believed then that as long as we are both sure that we loved each other, not seeing each other frequently is not really a big deal.

[To be continued.]

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Cheaters – Bizarre Breakup Moments on TV

Have you ever watched an episode of Cheaters? I don't really watch a lot of reality TV, but whenever I happen to be seated in front of the boob tube and Cheaters is on, I always find myself hooked. It's so bizarre, it's enthralling.

A typical case featured in an episode starts with the complainant stating his or her suspicions about the spouse or the partner the complainant is in a long-term relationship with. Afterwards, the Cheaters private investigators follow this errant partner around to gather evidence of whether or not he or she is guilty of cheating.


Once there is enough evidence, the crew stages a confrontation between the parties. And then, all mayhem breaks loose. A usual episode would have cussing and exchanges of verbal abuse. Occasionally, violence does break out. The complainant would get so angry that he or she would physically assault the suspect, or vice versa. Cheaters host Joey Greco is not spared from these violent acts; there was an episode last year where he got stabbed by an angry suspect.

I suppose the show does perform a service for its clients somehow. But the humiliation of being betrayed on television can be too much. It may be something that you will never be able to live down.

If you suspect your partner with cheating on you, there is nothing to stop you from tailing your partner or hiring a private investigator. However, it may be best to avoid adding to your humiliation by not making it so public. You get to keep your dignity intact and the embarrassment will not aggravate the pain of the breakup.

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Breakup Coping Tip: Go on a Trip

Did you just break up with someone? Then this may be a good time for you to pack your bags and go on a trip. I know, the only thing you probably want to do right now is to sleep all day or mope in front of the TV, but believe me, a trip will do you good.

Why should you go on a trip when you have just broken up with someone? Here are my reasons:

• A trip will distract you from your loss. If you keep dwelling on the breakup, you will not be able to move on.
• A trip will relax you and refresh your mind. If you want to find a way to get your ex back, you are better off doing it after you have unloaded your sorrows and relaxed a little.
• Breakups are emotionally draining. You will find the rest that you need when you go on a trip.
• A trip is an opportunity to experience new things and even meet new people. Just do not go for a holiday romance when you are dealing with a breakup.

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Sign of a Breakup – Lack of Eye Contact

It is considered a sign of a breakup when your partner can no longer look you in the eye. You will feel it yourself. Either your partner is hiding something from you, or your partner no longer feels as involved with you as he or she used to.

Eye contact is important in building relationships, whether they are romantic or not. You have probably been given advice that when you meet someone for the first time, it is important that you look that someone straight in the eye. That is because eye contact establishes trust and confidence between two people.

When you look someone in the eye, you are telling that person that you believe in yourself and you believe in him or her. Trust is always the foundation of any relationship, especially the intimate ones where love and romance is involved.


Holding eye contact is also a sign of attraction. Remember how, in the early stages your relationship, you would walk in a room and your eyes would immediately search for your partner? How the two of you would stare at each other for a few moments as if there is no one else in the room? Eye contact is always a sign of intimate involvement between two people.

So, if your partner cannot seem to look at you straight in the eye anymore, you should start asking yourself questions. Better yet, talk to your partner about it, especially if you feel that he or she is being distant from you. Even though the lack of eye contact between you may not be a sign that your partner wants out in your relationship, it may otherwise mean that something is wrong and your partner needs help.

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Bad Breakup Example? The Eminem-Mariah Carey Slingfest

This so-called breakup story is all over the news – Eminem vs. Mariah Carey. These two music superstars have been airing their bad laundry in public for years now, to the point of polluting the airwaves.

Most of us have heard Mariah Carey's latest single "Obsessed" by now, whether we like it or not. The song includes the lyrics "Lyin' that you're sexin' me when everybody knows it's clear that you're upset with me." The video, on the other hand, featured a cross-dressing Mariah playing the role of the obsessed fan.

Although she has been denying it, popular thinking goes that this Mariah song is a diss at Eminem, whom many fans say resembles the obsessed fan in the "Obsessed" video. Popular thinking also has it that the song is a reaction to Eminem's "Bagpipes from Baghdad," where the rapper called Carey a whore.


The latest turn in the drama came when Eminem released the song "The Warning" last July. This time, he threatens to bring out all the pictures and voicemail that he said he has of Carey to prove that the relationship existed.

In case you are confused already, the point is just this: Eminem and Mariah Carey supposedly dated in 2001. Mariah denied this and the denial pissed Eminem off. This is what started the slingfest that we are now listening to on the radio.

Whether something went down between these two or not, carrying on like this is so immature. Slingfests after a breakup like this one would be understandable if it happened in high school. But it did not.

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