Love, Devotion and American Idol

>> Monday, January 31, 2011


Anyone who has been following the latest season of American Idol would already be aware of who Chris Medina is. but for the sake of those who don't watch Idol, Chris Medina is one of those singing hopefuls who showed up at the Idol auditions in Milwaukee.

Chris Medina certainly has talent and I wouldn't be surprised to see him in the finals. What made him memorable, though, is his devotion to his fiancée, Juliana Ramos. Before they could get married, Juliana suffered a tragic accident that left her with traumatic brain injury. Instead of leaving her, Chris chose to be one of her caretakers.

That choice, to me, is a mark of true love.

People have different reasons for getting into a relationship, and usually it's because they fancy themselves in love. But sometimes, when the relationship hits a rocky patch, the people in it are all too quick to fall out of love and call it quits.

The challenge that has befallen Chris Medina and Juliana Ramos is more than just a rocky patch; Juliana's accident is an event that changed their lives forever. But instead of running away from the situation as most have done, Chris stood by his lady. It reminds us of what the phrase "for better or for worse" should really mean. Juliana is a lucky woman to have such a man by her side.

Chris Medina will be one of the more memorable American Idol contestants this season. I wish there are more men like him around.

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Communication in Relationships – Talking Keeps the Love Alive

>> Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I've been watching a lot of Mad Men lately. At first it's because I was intrigued and wanted a glimpse of how the world of advertising worked in the 1960s, way before the Internet changed the world. And then I became fascinated by the characters and how they all interacted with each other. I'm especially fascinated by the interaction between Don and Betty Draper.

I've only just started on Season Two of the show, but I already have an idea of what's going to happen to these characters later on. The signs were all there as early as Season One. Betty is unhappy because there's no one she could open up to when it comes to what she really feels and thinks. Don isn't exactly unhappy, but he's totally incapable of sharing himself with others.

People who have tracked Mad Men up to its latest season would know what happened to this couple. Although the show was set in the 1960s, when mores and gender roles are different from what they are now, the underlying problem in the Draper marriage is still something that many couples experience today. Really, if you can't talk to your spouse or the person you consider your significant other, your relationship is doomed.

Communication Is Essential in Relationships

It's been said before and it bears repeating: Communication is essential in relationships. Communicating with your partner on a regular basis keeps the relationship alive. It's not about sex, it's not about having kids together, and it's not really about spending a lot of time together. If the two of you don't talk honestly and openly with each other, you might as well pack your bags and go.

If two people who are supposed to be together stop talking with honesty and openness with each other, one or both will soon feel shut out from the other. This lack of communication, in turn, generates suspicion, erodes trust in the relationship, fosters loneliness, and makes two people who are supposed to be intimate with each other become strangers.

How can one be happy with a stranger?

Talking Keeps the Love Alive

Needless to say, the only way to keep the communication alive in your relationship is to talk with your partner. This doesn't mean calling or sending your partner texts, instant messages or tweets every five minutes. Taking the time to see how the other is doing often goes a long way.

My parents are the same age as the Draper children – Sally and Bobby – would have been. But after 34 years of marriage, I think they got their communication thing right, somehow. They fight, as all married couples do, and they have followed their own careers.

But they have established their communication rituals over the years, like having coffee together in the morning before leaving for work, eating dinner together on weekends, and calling each other during lunch breaks. Whether we believe it or not, we are all creatures of habit and little rituals like these go a long way in keeping the love in a relationship alive.

And then, there's the fact that your significant other should also be your best friend. No matter how it is or what it is, you should be open to your SO about what you're thinking and feeling. Even though we have girlfriends and male friends, our SO should not have to learn from other people something he or she should have heard first from you.

Communication is essential in relationships. This is one thing we should always remember.

When did you last talk to your SO?

(Image: Breaking Curfew)

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First Love Never Dies

>> Monday, January 17, 2011



Do you still remember your very first love?

Poets and songwriters alike say that first love never dies. You never forget that first person who made your heart beat incredibly fast, who made you go through many a sleepless night, who filled your mind to the point that it's impossible to spend a day without thinking of him/her, who made you yearn for things you have never dreamed of before.

More often than not, your first love is also the first person who broke your heart.

Now, let's fast forward to ten years down the line. As if by some cosmic joke, you meet your first love again, quite by chance. Both of you have grown older and, hopefully, wiser. You have built lives apart from each other. And yet, the spark that drew the two of you together that very first time is still there.

What would you do?

You typically have two choices when you come to this crossroad. You either drop everything you've got going right now and find a way to rekindle that spark into the white-hot flame it once was.

Or you could let things stay the way they are right now and let your first love remain as they have always been all these years – a bittersweet memory.

The first choice is very easy. All you need to do is follow your heart, throw everything to the wind and rush into your first love's arms. Then you and your first love can live your happily ever after as if it was meant to be.

The second choice requires you to be sensible. It requires some cold thinking and putting your mind over your heart. You have built a life away from your first love all these years. That life may mean a spouse, kids, a home, a career. It's a matter of weighing if your first love is worth giving up everything just to relive that old love again.

First love never dies – that much is true. If there aren't any strings attached, then maybe your first love can be the one love of your life. But life never gives us anything in neat packages like that. There are choices that need to be made, and choices sometimes need some sacrifice.

Do you still remember your first love? What would you do if you chanced upon him/her again?

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