Breaking the No Contact Rule, By Accident or On Purpose

Part 5 of 5 in the No Contact Rule Series

In the previous four parts of this No Contact Rule series, I tried to talk about what the no contact rule is and why it is so important. I also wrote about how to get over the pain of your breakup while you are observing this rule, as well as what you can do for yourself in the meantime that will help you forget and move on after your breakup. Basically, I emphasized that not seeing or communicating your ex helps you mend your broken heart because when they are out of your sight, they will fade from your mind.

But I understand too that for all your careful planning, things can't really go your way all the time. What if, while trying to observe the no contact rule, you suddenly bump into your ex while, say, doing your groceries? What if they show up at a mutual friend's party? What if they call you? What if you cave in to your longing to see your ex again and broke the rule yourself?

So, what happens when you break the no contact rule, either by accident or on purpose?

Breaking the No Contact Rule by Accident

Accidents are bound to happen no matter how much you avoid them. Unless one of you moved to another city, there is a chance that you will bump into your ex at one point or another. They may show up at a gathering hosted by a mutual friend, for one. Or it may just be one of those chance moments where you encounter them totally unexpectedly.

What do you do when you bump into your ex by accident? There is no perfect response to this question, to be honest. Perhaps it all depends on how you feel at that precise moment.

I do suggest trying to be civil, though, no matter how ugly things went for the two of you the last time you saw each other. Just act as if it's perfectly normal for the two of you to bump into each other all the time. You don't have to be friendly with your ex. More often than not, just nodding your head upon making eye contact and going own way is enough. You don't have to make a scene out of it. Just acknowledge your ex's presence and go.

If your ex stops you for a chat, go ahead and chat but keep it brief. You are busy living your own life apart from your ex, so unless you two have children or a business together, there is no reason for you to linger. Exchange a few sentences, make your excuses, then go. If your ex asks for your number, tell them you'll call them instead. However, don't ask them for their number.

Breaking the No Contact Rule on Purpose

Healing a broken heart through the no contact rule is definitely possible, but it is also definitely hard to do. You may be tempted to break it when you find yourself alone at home and feeling lonely on a Friday night and with no one else to talk to. This just might find you breaking your resolve and getting in touch with your ex out of the blue.

If you have broken the rule, there is no use beating yourself over it once you have realized what you have done. What is done is done; the more important question is how you will move forward from it. Your ex may think that you're trying to play games with them, but what they think does not matter right now. If you genuinely feel that getting in touch with them again is a huge mistake, just pick up where you left off with the no contact rule and stick to it.

Now that the No Contact Rule Is Broken

Now that the no contact rule is broken, what happens now? How do you move on from this? Again, it all depends upon you. You will have to figure out for yourself whether you want to get back with your ex or continue with the life you have right now.

It is a question of whether you are ready or not. If you want to get your ex back and you want to start things over, then go for it and make the first move. Just make sure that you have really thought things over, that you are aware of the factors that made things go south with your ex the last time you were together, and that you are committed not to make the same mistakes again.

If you want to get your ex back but you are not yet ready to start the relationship, just continue following the no contact rule even if it was broken at this point. You will only hurt yourself and your ex even more if you take the plunge but are not yet ready.

If you simply don't want to go back, then good for you. The world is big and somewhere out there, there is someone who is just for you. It is only a matter of finding that someone and you don't have to rush at all. Just enjoy yourself and your time being alone.

A breakup does not have to be the end of the world for anyone. You can heal your broken heart and move on with your life, and one of the best approaches to do this is by following the no contact rule. Somewhere along the road, you may want to get back with your ex or to start a completely new relationship with someone else. But the most important thing here is to start over when you are whole and ready and learn to cherish yourself above all.

This is the last part of the No Contact Rule series, but it doesn't mean that this is the last time I will write about it. I'll probably get back to this topic every now and then, simply because it is important to me and I truly believe that it will help other people as it has helped me before.

Did you ever bump into your ex when you were trying to avoid them? What happened and what did you do?

(Image: graur codrin from FreeDigitalPhotos.net