Can't Find a Decent Guy to Date? Get Rid of Your Superficial List

As a young girl, I had this list of traits that I want to see in the guy I want to marry someday. The list went something like this:

- He has to be older than me.
- He has to be well-off so I don't have to work in an office.
- He has to be a graduate of a top university (unless it's the rival of my alma mater).
- He has to be taller than me.
- He has to be smart.
- He has to be funny.
- He has to be a bookworm.
- He has to be someone who wears glasses like I do.
- He has to be really cute.
- He has to be someone whom Mommy and Daddy will get along with.

As the years went by, I met and got along with a few guys. They were decent fellows but I didn't even think of getting into a relationship with them because they lacked some of the qualities I put down in my list.

Then I met someone who had every single trait I wanted in a potential mate. And he was interested in me because he said I had all the traits he wanted in a wife. It looked perfect, right?

Three years later, I dumped him because it turned out he was an egotistic jerk.

If you have a list like mine, do you think your list is helping you find your ideal guy? Or is it turning out to be a crutch that is keeping you from being with a man who is good enough but just doesn't meet the "standards" you have put in your list?

There is nothing wrong with having standards. In fact, you must have standards if you want to find a good man who will respect you and will be with you for the long haul. If you don't have any standards with the guys you go out with, you're just selling yourself short.

But having a laundry list that reads like "My ideal man is someone who is 6'4, has blue eyes, blond hair, a face like Brad Pitt's, six-pack abs, a six-figure income, a nice house in the Hamptons, and brains like Einstein's" just sounds ridiculous, don't you think? Such a list is superficial and keeps us from being with someone real and nice.

There is probably a deep-seated reason why you have this list in the first place. Maybe the purpose of your list is not really to find what you believe to be the ideal guy. Maybe its purpose is to protect you from getting hurt and rejected again.

Finding love is about taking chances. Lose your superficial laundry list, deal with whatever personal issues you are trying to hide with your list, and take the plunge.

What is on your list?

(Image: nuttakit from FreeDigitalPhotos.net)